Mel Hambelton Ford #MH370 Fail

I am hoping recent tweets from Mel Hambelton Ford in Wichita, Kansas were misguided social automation gone wrong. The local dealership used the #MH370 tag (Malaysia Airlines MH370) to try and sell cars. Most likely it was a bot exploiting trending hashtags. It was a terrible idea, fit for a used car salesman you could say but in poor taste either way.

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Oh God, We’re Friends With A Cookie



Great video, explains the life of a creative. My favorite lines are:

  • Consumer Whisperer
  • Made us cry twice with an ad for juice
  • And invented a cookie we could be friends with, oh God, we’re friends with a cookie
  • You lanyard swinging genius

Robots May Come In Handy

Many news sites give suggestions on what you should read next:

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Taboola suggestions on the Huffington Post kill me, my favorite being, “Robot Handjobs Are The Future, and The Future Is Coming.”

Home Alone, Taking 15 Family Members to Paris Is Expensive

Home Alone and How Much that trip would costLast night Home Alone was the movie du jour. The family, 15 in total, travels to Paris leaving Kevin behind as part of the plot. As a travel buff, I thought about the planning and cost involved. What an expensive trip! How expensive would the trip be today?

Ground Transportation
Airport shuttle vans to O’hare from suburban Chicago (671 Lincoln Ave, Winnetka, IL 60093) = $206

RER/Metro train service roundtrip from Charles De Gaulle Airport to central Paris (Abbesses 18th  arrondissement*) – 10 x $9 = $90, 4 x $12.89 = 51.56 X2 = $291.12

* The family visits their brother, “Ross”, his apartment is a stones throw from Sacré-Cœur which is very close via a window shot, that’s why Abbesses was the stop chosen. Notice we used 10 instead of 11 as Kevin was left at home.

The Flight
11 economy class* roundtrip non-stop*** tickets from Chicago to Paris (Paris Orly was used in the film**) in December – $1,249 x 11 = $13,739
4 first class* roundtrip non-stop*** tickets from Chicago to Paris (Paris Orly was used in the film**) in December - $10,049 x 4 = $40,196

* The kids flew economy and the parents flew first-class as depicted and stated in the film. I was tempted to use the lower business class figure of $5,123 but the parents have a conversation about first-class in the movie. ** I selected Charles De Gaulle airport as non-stop to Orly is no longer an option. *** The parents have a conversation with the ticketing agent about the length of the flight (8 hours) from their destination, so we can safely assume it is non-stop. We could have used 10 for the number of kids since Kevin was left behind but we assume the family bought him a ticket in advance.

Hotel
Since the family, all 14 (Kevin missing), stayed with brother “Ross”, there is no cost. The idea that 15+ people would stay in a small French apartment is a little crazy but we’ll roll with it. - $0

Food / Fun
It is shown in the film that the family just hung out at the apartment all day while waiting to hear word about Kevin, the kids discuss this fact in the film. So, we’ll just calculate food cost to feed 14 nothing fancy (you could use 13 since the mom was at the airport but she most likely ate at the airport so we’ll keep her in). We’ll guess it’s $20 to feed each person for one day and that the family was there for 4 days – 14 x 4 x 20 = $1,120

Total trip taken in 2013 = $55,552.12

 

Total trip if taken in 1990 = $31,088.79

The numbers above are shoe-string, they don’t include passport fees, incidentals, baggage fees and other common items. This is a bare-bones estimate. The 1990 figure is based on inflation – a more accurate figure could be calculated based on the Consumer Price Index for air transportation.

YouTube Comments

What does YouTube tell you after you refuse to create a Google+ page to comment?

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I don’t want my YouTube channel, for which I have over 100,000+ views, to be linked to my personal Google+ account and I don’t want to open a Google+ page for my channel. Take the hint YouTube. Even the co-founder of YouTube doesn’t like it:

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Today, commenters started protesting by posting tank character art with the same message over and over again on popular videos (it is annoying but I support it). They are spamming fast enough where it makes most real comments hard to find.

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Lindsey Vonn Was A Jerk on Letterman

Lindsey Vonn was on Letterman last night, she is making headlines today after claiming that she hit a hole-in-one the first time she played golf. Impressive as Lindsey thinks she is – how much of a jerk was she when talking to Dave?

Portillo’s vs. Ted’s Hot Dogs

portillos-vs-teds-hotdogsTempe residents and Phoenicians alike now have two major hot dog players with East coast roots. Ted’s has been in Tempe since 1982 but the New York based hot-doggery started in 1927.

New to Arizona, Portillo’s is based in Chicago and was founded in 1963. They have two Arizona locations, while Ted’s has only one in Arizona. As an Arizona native, I have no alliance to Ted’s or Portillo’s as I didn’t grow up back East but 80% of people living in the Valley were born outside of Arizona. My co-workers went ape-shit when Portillo’s opened.

Portillos-Hot-Dogs-Onion-RingsI’ve been to both establishments and I can declare a hot dog winner: Ted’s is superior. There is nothing special about Portillo’s hot dogs besides the strong emotional tie I don’t have to Chicago. The place is loaded with mid-western types reliving their glory days somewhere else – it’s not about the quality of the food.

Ted’s offers quality food. Homemade chili and hot sauce, grilled Shalen dogs on charcoal by friendly people. Portillo’s operates like a sweatshop, with a hefty number of new crew scrambling around like chickens. Don’t believe me that Ted’s is hands-down the best? Have the onion rings at both restaurants. Portillo’s rings look and taste like they came from Burger King, Ted’s are superior.

The Fantasy Football Rules

Fantasy Football is pure pleasure to some but annoying garbage to others. it is the douchebag fantasy owners who give this non-sport a bad name. I’ve devised 5 simple rules all fantasy owners should follow:

1. The performance of your favorite real team is more important than your fantasy team, always.

2. Don’t discuss fantasy football with someone who doesn’t play fantasy football as it is very annoying to them. If you don’t play Fantasy Football, stop reading right now.

3. Fantasy Football is not a sport, it’s a game like chess but with human pawns, treat it as such.

4. Management of a fantasy football team does not qualify you to manage people or projects, it is not a real qualification and/or doesn’t count as “team building“.

5. Don’t pretend you are wiser than everyone else in the league when in fact fantasy football is more like the lottery than the NFL.

Things I Don’t Do Well: The Big List

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It’s a metaphor.

Bear with me: I am a marketing and advertising juggernaut. I read, study, attend conferences, network and practice my craft. I stay sharp by investing and developing my own skills and have acquired years of experience. Marketing, advertising, writing and traveling are my passions! It is very easy for me to state my mastery.

What I don’t do well: There are plenty of things I don’t do well. If a friend, co-worker or applicant says they are great at everything – that’s a red flag. So, here is my big list of things I don’t do well:

Calculus
Singing
Baking
Using scissors
Freehand drawing
Whistling
Auto repair
Plumbing
Dancing
Getting up early
Accounting
Drumming
Crafts
Children
Dieting
Sudoku
Lying
Speakerphone
Fashion
Jaywalking
Rapping
Surfing
(this is a running list)

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